It all started in 2016 when I met a young man, he looked gentle and calm so I thought I was in love. I was just 19, and to me it was love at first sight for me, and he said the same thing to me, we clicked and got along easily, then finally we started dating.
it was a beautiful one at that, my pictures were all over his FB handle, same as his on mine, we dated for 1yr plus, I saw some signs that he was a smoker, a cheat and an abuser, but I ignored all (because I was naive at the time.
We finally got married in 2018 after my 21st birthday, even though my parent didn’t want us to, because they said I was too tender and I had just OND then, they wanted me to finish my higher national diploma before getting married or probably be in final year before doing so, but I refused my excuse was that I was in love and I thought he loved me to.
We were living separate after the traditional marriage pending the time we would get our white wedding done but I do visit him on weekends, on my first visit I was going through his phone when I saw a sex video of him with a lady, and I was heartbroken.
After which I started snooping around his phone and I kept making new discoveries, I realized he was a chronic cheat, and he has kids outside, it was as if my world came crashing down, i didn’t know what to do (I was just 21), I confided in a priest who was my very good friend, he asked that I forgive him which I did, on one of my weekend visit we had a serious issue which my family advised that I should pack in to his house, it was then he unveiled his true self.
I saw a lot of chat with his numerous girlfriends, I caught him smoking weed, doing video sex chat with unknown ladies on Facebook, we quarreled every day, initially I do beg him to forgive me even when I was not at fault, he will reject food over little issue, he made me loose myself worth, he talked down on me and called me lots of name, sometimes he doesn’t come home for days after having issues with him, he stopped me from you touching his phone, he dealt with me emotionally.
I fell into depression, I couldn’t eat well or sleep well, I thought of killing him, sometimes I thought if killing myself too, I didn’t know how to face the world after coming out from a broken marriage, I fasted and prayed for him to change yet nothing happened, I Increased my performance on bed yet it became worse, I do cry myself to bed always, tears became my food, he gave me a lot of STDs
I was on injections and drips always, I attempted stabbing myself and drinking sniper, but the thought of my mum loosing me won’t let me, I became an object of laughter and ridicule both in my street and his shop, I couldn’t move freely I felt the world already abandoned me, after few months of staying with him, December came, on Christmas Eve we had a misunderstanding he beat me up
I sustained injuries in my right eye, then I went to the hospital for injections and drugs, I became better but the bruise was still there, so when I came for New year Eve my parents was angry and refused me going back with him, they summoned him but he refused to attend I had to beg on his behalf ,after New year’s celebration he went back to our base while I went to pay my rent in school because I was to go back for my higher national diploma, so after that I paid him a surprise visit, when he came back he abused me and my mum, my mum had to beg on my behalf, but he refused and started ignoring me all he does is once it’s night he will approach me for sex wish I always refused then he will get angry and leave the room, he continued ignoring me and refused to drop money for my upkeep and groceries for one week, then on my 22nd birthday Eve he left to a neighboring state and lied that he was in our base, I had to call someone to verify and found out the truth, on my birthday I didn’t get a call from him, all he did was to write a long epistle on fb on how he loves and cherishes his wife but he never called, I was really pained, so I had to meet the marriage counselor that took us on our marriage course in preparation for our wedding, I explained everything to her she advised me to leave, same as my priest friend, the next day I parked my things and Left, it was another traumatic process ( people mocked me and made jest of me), even friends were not left out in the process, but my sweet mum(of blessed memory , stood by me, even my siblings too.
She encouraged me to go back to school which I did, I had lonely days, I became a walking dead, no food, no money, no friend, just me coming out from a broken home, (then mum fell sick), I always prayed and believed in God, then I went through HND 1, as time went by I became better, I started my HND2, (I was doing online business and the little money I got there kept me moving and supports from friends was my only hope).
Then in my HND2 mum died, I felt like following her, she was my strength, my first love, my best friend, my everything. Death took her away from me, but my friends never left me, family and well-wishers inclusive, yes now I am better I have forgiven him and everyone that did hurt me in the past, after two years I left I found love (someone who cherishes and adores me not minding my past), I survived and you too can. And l am grateful to God for how far he brought me
Say no to abusive relationship and marriage.