Handling emotional abuse: part 2

by | Sep 24, 2020 | Body Image, Mental Health, people, Self Esteem | 6 comments

One thing is certain, emotional abuse can never and is never God’s plans for you

So just In case you keep making excuses for why they should keep abusing you, you should know that it isn’t Gods plan for you.

How to know you are emotionally abused

 As I have earlier said, emotional abuse is often subtle so it could be difficult to identify because might be like that’s how they behave and we can get comfortable with abuse that we can no longer recognize the signs

 So this will let you know some things because sometimes we can be the abuser ourselves

 I often here love me the way I am

Do you know God loves you just as you are?

 But He doesn’t expect you to remain that way

 He wants you to grow and become who He has created you to be

So it is for us as humans

We are expected to grow and become a better person

 Because definitely we can always be better

So signs of emotional abuse

 One thing is sure, emotional abuse will never make you feel good

Check it

How does their conversation make you feel, whenever you interact with them?

Do you go back to your closet feeling not good enough?

Does it make you question your worth?

If you feel wounded, frustrated, confused, misunderstood, depressed, anxious or worthless anytime you interact, chances are that your relationship is emotionally abusive

1. Does your partner have unrealistic expectations of you?

 So I will paste this as some examples

Emotionally abusive people display unrealistic expectations. Some examples include:

Making unreasonable demands of you

Expecting you to put everything aside and meet their needs

Demanding you spend all of your time together

Being dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or how much you give

Criticizing you for not completing tasks according to their standards

Expecting you to share their opinions (i.e., you are not permitted to have a different opinion)

Demanding that you name exact dates and times when discussing things that upset you (and when you cannot do this, they may dismiss the event as if it never happened)

 You know you are trying your best

But still they never see it

They want everything to evolve around them

Of which life itself cannot evolve around anybody

 Because we as humans we are not dependable

 We fail ourselves all the time

 We can’t meet some of our own personal demands

 Have you forgotten some times that you personally promised to do some things for yourself?

 But didn’t

Then why will you or someone else put the burden that everything should evolve around them on you or you put it on someone?

Another one is Invalidate you

Emotionally abusive people invalidate you. Some examples include:

Undermining, dismissing, or distorting your perceptions or your reality

Refusing to accept your feelings by trying to define how you should feel

Requiring you to explain how you feel over and over

Accusing you of being “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “crazy”

Refusing to acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as valid

Dismissing your requests, wants, and needs as ridiculous or unmerited

Suggesting that your perceptions are wrong or that you cannot be trusted by saying things like “you’re blowing this out of proportion” or “you exaggerate

Accusing you of being selfish, needy, or materialistic if you express your wants or needs (the expectation is that you should not have any wants or needs)

 They just expect you to take in everything

Your opinion isn’t needed

When you are expressive

They see it as you are selfish

 They see it as you don’t value them

 They just want to be the center of the whole thing

Another one is Emotional blackmail

Emotionally abusive people use emotional blackmail. Some examples include:

Manipulating and controlling you by making you feel guilty

Humiliating you in public or in private

Using your fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to control you or the situation

Exaggerating your flaws or pointing them out in order to deflect attention or to avoid taking responsibility for their poor choices or mistakes

Denying that an event took place or lying about it

Punishing you by withholding affection or giving you the silent treatment.

Pay attention to the emotional blackmail

These things are subtle but they are evident

It could be you doing it

And it could be someone doing it to you

 Emotional abuse gradually damages the self-worth of a person

 It affects them psychologically

That’s why you see a lot battling depression, anxiety, fears, suicidal thoughts in their relationship

Funniest thing, he doesn’t have to be a beater to exhibit all these

Research has shown that they pain of emotional abuse is as that of physical abuse

Instead of them to talk about issues, they withdraw and keep you wondering

 Then you are the one doing the begging all the time

Then they in turn make you feel like you are the person

They play the victim

They make you feel guilty for what they did

They are the ones wrong

But they still make it looks like the problem is you

Because they know you will always come back to beg

They guilt trap you

You want to leave because the pain is much

But you can’t because you are afraid

 Oh we’ve come a long way

The devil I know is better than the angel I don’t

If there is an angel

Then why stay with the devil

They Act Superior

Emotionally abusive people act superior and entitled. Some examples include:

Treating you like you are inferior

Blaming you for their mistakes and shortcomings

Doubting everything you say and attempting to prove you wrong

Making jokes at your expense

Telling you that your opinions, ideas, values, and thoughts are stupid, illogical, or “do not make sense”

Talking down to you or being condescending

Using sarcasm when interacting with you

Acting like they are always right, like they know what is best and are smarter

they wanna Control and Isolate You. etc

​Emotionally abusive people attempt to isolate and control you. Some examples include

Controlling who you see or spend time with including friends and family

Monitoring you digitally including text messages, social media, and email

Accusing you of cheating and being jealous of outside relationships

Taking or hiding your car keys

Demanding to know where you are at all times or using GPS to track your every move

Treating you like a possession or property

Criticizing or making fun of your friends, family, and co-workers

Using jealousy and envy as a sign of love and to keep you from being with others

Coercing you into spending all of your time together

Those are the signs you can use to check mate things

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